**** awwww......Love :) **** But, wait! I wasn't truly happy! - not like I am today!
I had a restless night and figured that maybe God was wanting to talk to me. I got up and began to pray and really searching for what I believe. Not what others have told me - the ministers and my "elders", but what I truly believed. Its something that I had struggled with for a year and I was tired of it!
In the early hours of the morning this is the main thing I got out of my prayer and Bible searching:
Hebrews 11:6 "But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him."
I had been struggling with "faith" in my heart though I knew all the verses and believed every passage I read or heard. What was I doing wrong? I wasnt "diligently seeking" Him. I thought I was. I tried to get up early or would get a few verses in before bed. I studied, but I was only studying doctrine. I had lost my first love! I was seeking, but not with true diligence!
Websters describes diligent as: to esteem, love,
: characterized by steady, earnest, and energetic effort : painstakingsynonyms: busy
I decided to treat Jesus as I did Michael.
What kind of music does Jesus like? Music that worships and glorifies Him. Done!
His family? Those He loves? Treat everyone with love. I remind myself daily (sometimes by the minute) that I need to "put on love"
Colossians 3:14 and "Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
What is His favorite Movie? Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things areof good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." - So probably nothing rated "R" - or even "PG" anymore!
I am so not perfect and I find myself wanting to "veg" in front of the TV, but I am doing it less and being pickier about what I watch. Not watching Tv is probably just as hard for me now as listening to Country music was for me 15 years ago! I am still working on it, but I am finding great rewards in making Jesus my First Love again! I am striving for the day where I dont have to try so much and I will feel comfortable in my relationship with Jesus that every action and thought brings a smile to His face. When I do mess up, I want to feel secure that He loves me anyway and will accept me for who I am!
Rewards I have received so far -
- More Patience and love for my kids - and other peoples kids :)
- More understanding of people in general
- Love for those who are different than myself
- I allow myself to make mistakes
- I allow others to make mistakes
- I am not as controlling of the house
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